英语脱口秀台词

脱口秀不单单只有中国人会欣赏，人家老外也爱听，一起来看看以下的英语脱口秀吧。

hi, everybody. hi! so i don't have too much time up here, before my green card expires. see i grew up in a poor neighborhood in china. the middle school that i went to one year decided to pave the dirt roads with bricks and cement. and the students were required to bring bricks to school and ...we worked really hard for 3 weeks and finally we built a road. years later, i heard about the term: child labor. i was like, what?! those kids got paid?!

嗨，大家好啊!嗨!那个……我能表演的时间不多，因为我绿卡马上要过期了。我是在中国的穷乡僻壤长大的。我们初中某年突然决定要修整土路，铺上砖头和水泥，让学生们带砖头到学校来……我们玩命地干了三个礼拜终于把路修好了。多年以后我听说了这个词：童工。我立马就惊讶了，啥?!那些小孩干活还有钱拿?

i got a d minus. but i read that younger kids nowadays can't even read the analog watches any more. they can only read the digital ones. i was like, how are they gonna report the locations of hot chicks in the future? it's gonna be like, hot chick, 3 o'clock. i can't stay that long.

我拿到的只是d-。我看报道，如今的小孩都不会看手表了。他们只能看懂电子表。我心想，等他们长大以后该如何报告辣妹的位置啊?别人说，“辣妹在三点钟方向”。我不能待那么久的。

so i came to the us for college and i was really into science, which really helped me in the romance department. like once i asked this girl out and she said, no. i said, are you sure? and she said to me, hey joe, no means no. i said, well... it also means nitric oxide.

我来美国是读大学，我很喜欢科学，这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次，我来美国是读大学，我很喜欢科学，这对我的感情生活也大有裨益。有一次，我约女孩子出去，她说不行。我问，真不行啊?她说，嘿，joe，no就是不行的意思。我说，no也是一氧化氮啊。

and one year, i went to new orleans for mardi gras. here's something you guys should know about me. i don't approve of nudity in public. but when it happens, i want to be there.

有一年，我去新奥尔良参加狂欢节。 对于我，你们要了解一点，我是不赞同公共场合赤身裸体的。不过要是真有人这么干了，那我不能错过啊。

and when i first came to the united states, i took a english as a second language class. and the teacher there was too lazy to remember the students' names. so he just handed out a list of american names for us to choose from. and by the time i got the list, there were only two names left, so i just picked joe instead of jake. and the other day, i told that story to my son, jake.

我初到美国时，参加了英语培训课程。我们老师特别懒，记不住学生名字。于是他就给了我们一张美国名字表，让我们选名字。等我拿到表时，只剩下俩名字了，所以我就选了joe。我选了joe，另一个是jake。有一天，我把这故事讲给我儿子听，他叫jake。

so my son is four years old now. but he still has a lot of growing-up to do. sometimes i look at my son, i was like, wow, this gentleman contributes nothing to society. and i have to pretend that i'm impressed by everything he does. i was like, wow, you walked half a block by yourself? that's amazing! but in the back of my mind, i was like, big deal! when i was a kid, i built a road!

我儿子现在四岁，不过，他还远远不够成熟。有时，我看着儿子心想，哇哦，这小伙子对社会一点贡献都没有。但我还得装作他所作的事都很了不起。我说，哇哦，你自己走了半个街区?太棒了!其实我心想，这算啥啊!老子小时候修了条路!

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